Thursday, February 17

O.o

I'd say I rank amateur as a lucid dreamer, being able to recall about 3-5 dreams for each night. And usually, when I find myself in an undesirable or stressful situation in a dream, I tend to resolve the source of stress with the introduction of some kind of solution, or I "rewind" back to a point where I have the option of avoiding the situation altogether. I guess it's kinda like the last four seasons of Lost--convenient and poorly planned.

But this morning I woke up with the strangest recollection. I remember having some ordinary ailment, like a cold or even just sniffles, and being at a research hospital. I could see my mom on the other side of a glass window, seemingly having surrendered me to the medical staff. I looked at her desperately, wondering how she could let "them" do this--and I gazed up and saw glass incubators with brains inside them, hanging like baby mobiles from the ceiling of the examining room. John Krasinski ("Jim" from The Office), either the doctor or physician's assistant, was telling me that it wasn't going to hurt, as nurses surrounded me. I looked at the scalpel in his hand as he tried to stick it into the back of my neck, just below the cranium. I struggled to get away as I looked up again at the brains with some cerebral arteries still dangling off them. But the nurses had me.

At this point, as I explained at the beginning of this post, I actively made an effort to resolve the situation. I tried to argue with John Krasinski, telling him that it was going to hurt. He was convinced, however, that he was absolutely right and that I should just cooperate. Then I think I semi-woke up--not really sure: I "returned" to my dream, somehow having become completely aware that I was, in fact, dreaming. I suddenly looked at Dr. Krasinski and explained, "This is a dream." It was like he didn't even hear me. So I shouted it again, and again, until the dream somehow faded/ended.

As I thought about this weird experience all morning, I kept thinking about why I couldn't control the situation as I normally do--why couldn't I just get a "character" to do what I, the dreamer, wanted--why he didn't believe me and let me go once I explained that it was all just a dream. I feel like I just failed some standardized test, and I guess it took me by complete surprise since I was under the impression that I had a decent grip on how things were going to play out (I mean after all, I was making it all up as I went, right?). I might try to recreate the dream tonight, just as I begin to drift off. Maybe I can "resolve" things this time O.o

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