Sunday, August 17

-FIN-

I find it ironic that the last post was titled with the artist to follow in mind. Forshadowing anyone?

The greatest disappointment, personally, for me over the past decade, believe it or not, came from a People Magazine article this summer. We all eventually learn to accept that dunya is all about change, that everything you know, everyone you know, can, and likely will, change. We change, too, sometimes, and hopefully it's for the better (in the long run?).

Remember those rumors about Lauryn Hill at the turn of the millenium that suggested she was some raving racist? Most kids in my high school, at least that I thought were okay to discuss this with, accepted the rumors. But it's South Dakota, small town, and was just a small defect I learned to forgive of my neighbors and classmates. They didn't know better, and seeing where they were raised, geographically and socially, I never bothered to try to convince them otherwise. My disagreement was another issue that could be attributed to me being "different/diverse" I think to them.

So this summer article had a special on Lauryn, who I've written about many times before on this blog; I grew up listening to the sound of her amazing voice, and her lyrics have always seemed so matured, the way she turned raw heartbreak, be it from love of people or love of justice and social consciousness, into beat and flow. As far as the racism rumors went, I checked out some of her interviews (I think I have youtube links posted somewhere in these archives), and I confirmed I was correct; They were rumors--she was not afraid to address them and anyone who listened to her music would know better than to believe those rumors. But this article quoted Wyclef and Pras, both artists I deeply respect, testifying to some of Lauryn's other developments since Miseducation.

Obviously, this is a sore point for me, so I'll make it short...but the woman has lost the humility I had always assumed she possessed because of the wisdom of her lyrics. It really doesn't make much sense to me, but I guess no one is perfect, and though I never thought she was some kind of superhero, she was still somewhat of a hero to young women, and keeping her on a pedestal was something familiar to me, something I was comfortable doing.

It's strange, that so much changes in our lives, and when we finally realize that we've been growing throughout it all, we can be wiser in redefining the matrices we exist in, whether it is to protect ourselves from the world or to expose ourselves to it. We learn to take all the moments of our pasts, the ones that seemed overwhelming and the ones that seemed so insignificant at the time, and put them to use in carving every moment towards that future we've spent so much time speculating about. To be able to stand, and even function on a good day, at the converging point of past and future, to be present, and know what you want and how far you're willing to go to understand, to experience, all of these things I've learned to explore during the course of this blog-life, if you will. And I've learned to laugh at my mistakes, not just cringe at the fact and stress to learn from them, and I've learned when I'm willing to make a mistake, when something is worth living out, even if it requires us to rebuild all that we've know. And most of all, I've learned to look forward to those uncertain moments, to move forward despite being a bit of a stickler about everything.

There is no conclusion to this blog, and I figure conclusions are bound to change, and if I was ever to wrap up these past few years here, this would be a meaningful post to those who know me.

Have a nice day, and enjoy your meals? :) Oh, and smile.

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