Thursday, February 1

Halaqas

Tonight I attended this "Peer Halaqa" for the second time since it began last fall. Here are some afterthoughts...

A) I got more out of it than I had bargained for; In the minority-status dunya of American Muslims, it becomes difficult to bear reality by ourselves. At some point, I decided it would just be nice to hear another Muslim person speak of something real. Yeah, the other halaqas' topics are imperatives in Islamic knowledge, but my empty soul has gradually begun to see it all as perfect theory--not practical of the individuals (including myself) who form this idea of an ummah. Negative--I know--but this is where I've been. Jaded (quite frankly), I went to the halaqa seeking to hear a person not speak "theory" (which is as beautiful as perfect) but speak as a flawed individual who is exposed to the same stimuli (conditions, if you will) but reacts in a way that inspires.

B) I found that there is more beauty in flawed human beings struggling to implement "theory" because they believe in it than the beauty contained in the seemingly unattainable perfection of the Deen. PS, please don't be offended by these statements--I hope it's not coming off as me dissing Islam--Subhan Allah, that is not my intention.

C) I found inspiration; I found myself filling with envy as I listened to eloquence presented as speech. Blown away--really. Maa Shaa' Allah.

D) Although my empty soul remains, I can't imagine not attending the following Peer Halaqas, if only to let my ears hear inspiration--even if it has yet to bring my heart back to life. And should it never come back in this life, beauty is something that is still just as beautiful to hear--even if we cannot see it.

1 comment:

resilient said...

Assalamu alaikum,

I could not agree more with your point. So many times I've been disappointed/bored with khutbas and halaqas that are not 'real'. You see speakers preaching from their high pedestals as if they are infallible, yet we know only the Prophet (SM) was ma'sum. I take much more inspiration in stories of converts in America, who found Islam as opposed to being born into it, and are at peace with themselves. They went through the trials and tribulations, and have much to offer as American Muslims.

I wish you success in your search for 'self', as you already seem much more mature than your years!