Sunday, September 17


For anyone who's ever taken a course on logic:

"If you were drunk, then you were across the street from my apartment building last night."

Yep. That pretty much sums up all of reality to cover yesterday evening.

Our kitchen light went out yesterday morning. So I cooked dinner for myself in the dark. After a day of studying test theory and the history of psychometrics, I just wanted to go to sleep.

So I live on the seventh floor, my headboard against the right-most corner window of the front of the building. You would think that the elevation would drown out at least some noise from the streets...However, I felt like a blind person lost in a drunken crowd of the world's greatest fools.

There was this girl. Some idiot gave her a bullhorn. And she didn't know how to not use it. For a week she's been playing Fur Elise with it...only at night. And last night, she decided to start yelling incomprehensible things, probably a mix of alcohol and obsenities. After about an hour, when the crowds began chanting, "Jump! Jump! Jump!" to her, I figured she must live somewhere in my building. Being a psych major, in the midst of trying to go to bed early on a Saturday night despite drunken anarchy sweeping my neighborhood, I figured the girl wasn't suicidal, and would only jump, if she was indeed in my building and not just hiding in a parked car, as a direct consequence of her drunkeness. No suicidal person would enjoy herself on a bullhorn, let alone the way she did--it is almost an insult to all suicidal people on a historical level.

And then there was the car alarm that went off five times; The whole song played each time, with 0.5s breaks in between. As I was screaming in my head, someone vocalized my thoughts and yelled, "Steal the car already!" I assumed the thief was also too drunk to get it right the first few times. Either that, or some drunk car owner was entertaining himself by annoying near a thousand people on one block by playing with the panic button on his car remote.

A thousand birds with one stone.

Five times.

...He really scored.

To augment the cultural diversity factor involved in it all, there was some seriously hammered white meat-head from the South, swearing with all his drunken soul about reeming some punk, with an unmistakably drunk Southern drawl. The ugliest words (not so much content as every other aspect of speaking) to have ever raped my ears. Ugh. After about half an hour, someone probably took him inside the bar (I think I heard him a few hours later).

Oh yeah. There's a bar across the street from our building where mainly rich sorority and frat kids go...every night of the week. Out of our eightteen floors of residents, I'm certain only a few would actually go to this bar--most people I've seen on the elevators look like smart international student types, who, if they did drink, would do so privately with a small group of close friends. I highly doubt they were out there last night, for the most part.

Anyway, as I had stated earlier, I restate:

"If you were drunk, then you were across the street from my apartment building last night."

Note: Compare this post to the second paragraph of "Possible Words," where a previous place of rest was. Unbelievable contrast.


EA said...

Another 'fine' example why Prohibition should be

Samira said...

I second that!

Nandita said...

love how Im always out and about when all this havoc ensues.