Wednesday, June 28

Possible Words

Living in a house with one's family is a blessing indeed...However, it also comes for a small price: limited (very, very limited) internet access. Well, that is at least until I can convince my younger brother to set up the wireless without my being blackmailed too heavily. But, perhaps it's spared you from trivial posts (as, I must say, the previous certainly was).

Countless times, I've honestly considered how to put this "Fortress of Solitude" experience--as I've come to call it--into words. This experience that seems to have woven itself into the threads of my life--interrupting unpredictably, though never to my surprise. How does one convey all entailed in the interminably echoing quiet? A place wherein one knows that there exists a world of people so busy, who wish that the clocks would grant them moments of respite--all just outside of this sphere of surreal stillness? It isn't only the contrasts of the city sights and smells to the rolling Black Hills--rising and falling beneath the velvet-like, star-lit night sky. Nor is it being in the company of friends, strangers, and those in between, instead of what seems the absence of all interaction with the living world.

The best way I've found to describe it is in passing by a mirror.

Consider the hundreds of times you've been grasped by life, when you were unconscious of time as it disappeared away so inconsiderately, and you passed by a mirror without looking at your reflection. Perhaps you were at a restaurant, at a friend's house, or you were hastefully passing through a wall-papered corridor. And perhaps you didn't even notice the mirror that hung for you to see a reflection. It is that neglected reflection--not the one that smiles back before you leave your home every morning--that sits before you to keep you company. And the thoughts, the realizations that result from the circumstances, fill all of the quiet stillness.

And the weight, the worth of the entire experience lies not in the moments within the experience, itself, but is, rather, determined by it's impacts on all of one's choices after.

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